A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT CORRECT GRAMMAR AND NO ONE REALIZES THAT GRAMMAR FUCKING CHANGES.
JUST AN UPDATE: THE LATEST AMERICAN GRAMMAR CONFERENCE DECIDED TWO THINGS.
ONE-THE OXFORD COMMA MUST BE USED BY K-12 STUDENTS.
TWO-IF HE/SHE SINGULAR PRONOUNS DO NOT DESCRIBE THE SUBJECT GIVEN, THEY/THEM MAY BE USED AS A SINGULAR PRONOUN, BUT ONLY IN REFERENCE TO A PERSON.
Your friendly English major
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, or That One Time Fourteen Year Old Ron Weasley Stood On His Broken Leg To Tell A Convicted Murderer He Would Go Down Fighting For His Best Friend’s Life. (via ronweasley)
#SOMETHING FLICKERED IN BLACK’S SHADOWED EYES #YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WAS?#THE KNOWLEDGE THAT SIRIUS WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME FOR JAMES AND VICE VERSA #AND THAT HARRY HAD FOUND EQUALLY LOYAL FRIENDS AS HE HAD IN JAMES AND REMUS #I will fling myself from a cliff (via dearprongs)
i have no interest in small talk tell me about ur childhood and what ur parents are like and how many siblings u have and if u are afraid of death or if u believe in an afterlife and what ur favorite movie is and if u like romantic comedies or horror movies or action movies and what kind of music u like and why and tell me the bands or artists u loved in middle school but are too ashamed to admit to anyone else
What is a flotation tank?
500 kg of Epsom salts are added to 1000 litres of water, creating a 30 cm deep solution, which is heated to 35.5 degrees C (skin temperature).
The temperature of the water means that once you are settled in the tank, it is virtually impossible to distinguish between parts of the body that are in contact with the water, and those that aren’t, in effect “fooling” the brain into believing that the person is floating in mid-air.
THAT PICTURE OMG.